Want to be part of the
Stephen Minister Training Class?
Here’s what you do…

St. Andrew’s will be training a new class of Stephen Ministers beginning on Thursday, May 29, at 6:00pm. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to grow in faith, develop stronger relational skills, and bring Christ’s love into the lives of hurting people. If you are interested in being part of this class, pick up a copy of the Stephen Minister Application from the fellowship area. Fill it out and return it to Laura Aldridge. We will then schedule a time during the week of May 25 when you can meet with a couple of our Stephen Leaders to learn more about the training and so we can learn more about you. If you have any questions, talk with one of our Stephen Ministry Leaders: Marty Corder, Ola Merrell, and Laura Aldridge. Act now. Time’s running out!

RECEPTIVITY TO CARE: Most people are much more open to giving care than to receiving it. When a person is giving care, he or she is in a position of strength, stability, and authority. When a person is receiving care, he or she is acknowledging weakness, insecurity, and vulnerability.

As a result, there are countless people today who, though they really could benefit from a Christian friend who would listen and care for them, tough it out on their own.  They remain the strong silent type or wear a smile across a face that is holding back a flood of tears. Society encourages this (particularly for men). To ask for help is to admit weakness. To show weakness is to admit inferiority.

But God did not create us to be independent. We were created to be interdependent.  God’s Word is clear on this all the way back to Genesis:  “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18), The New Testament underscores this theme with more than 50 verses that contain the words “one another.” These verses include admonitions such as “love one another,” “encourage one another,” “build up one another,” and “pray for one another.”

What these verses don’t say is that only we are to love, encourage, build up, and pray for other people.  The “one another” wording gives them a reciprocal meaning.  It also tells us that we are to allow other people to love, encourage, build up, and pray for us! It is most difficult for people to ask for help.  Whether it is because of guilt, shame, inadequacy, or fear of rejection, many would much prefer to suffer alone than ask for help.

But suffering alone is not God’s intent for us.  Jesus promises, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).  We can receive this promised rest when we turn to one another for comfort and help.

Our Stephen Ministers know all about receiving care.  Many of them have been on the receiving end of care at an earlier point in their lives—something that has motivated them to give care now.  They know how difficult it is to ask for help, but they also know the great personal and spiritual growth and healing that follows.  They know how to respond in a loving, caring, and nonjudgmental manner. They’re equipped, ready, and waiting to provide the comfort and care God very much desires you to have.

If you find yourself now or in the future facing difficulties in life, don’t succumb to society’s norm of remaining strong and suffering alone.  Take the courageous step of seeking help.  Open your heart to receiving God’s love and grace through another person.  Our Stephen Ministry offers the opportunity of a very confidential relationship with someone who will listen to you and provide you with the care and encouragement you need, while Christ works inside to bring rest to your weary, burdened heart.

What is Stephen Ministry?

“Christ caring for people through people” or in other words, members of our congregation willing to come alongside each other in difficult times and illustrate God’s love for one another. What does it mean in the life of our church?

It means having someone available to help you sort through a tough situation. It also means a group of individuals our Pastors and staff can rely on in caring for a large congregation.

Why would anyone want or need a Stephen Minister? There is an old saying “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Stephen Ministers know that sometimes the tough can’t get going! Sometimes, people need to know others care for them and are willing to help them.

If you are hurting or seeking guidance for a stressful situation and would like to talk to someone in confidence, call the church and ask Pastor DA, Pastor David, or Laura Aldridge to assist you in finding a Stephen Minister.

If you feel this might be a ministry you would be interested in joining and you still have questions, there is information in the back of the sanctuary to look through. In the meantime, be in prayer about this ministry and how you might fit in.

May God bless those in need! | top |

Stephen Ministry Frequently Asked Questions

Where Did It All Start? Stephen Ministry has been around since 1975, when Kenneth Haugk, a pastor and clinical psychologist, began it to multiply the caregiving in his congregation in St. Louis, Missouri. We have had Stephen Ministry here at St. Andrew’s since 1999, and are one of more than 7,000 Stephen Ministry congregations from more than 90 denominations. Stephen Ministries St. Louis, the organization behind this international ministry, is headquartered in Missouri.

How Can Someone Receive Care from a Stephen Minister? Laura Aldridge, along with Pastor D.A., is our Stephen Leader who coordinates referrals. If you, or someone you know, could benefit from the care of a Stephen Minister, you can talk to Laura, to one of our pastors, or one of our other Stephen Leaders, Marty Corder or Ola Merrell. Any of our Stephen Ministers would also be happy to help you through the process. (If you want to talk about Stephen Ministry for someone else, make sure you get his or her permission first.)

How Much Does It Cost? Stephen Ministry is a caregiving ministry available to our members and community free of charge.

How Can Someone Become a Stephen Minister? Begin by talking to one of our Stephen Leaders or Stephen Ministers and they can tell you more. We usually train a new class of Stephen Ministers every other year, and we plan to begin our next training class in mid-summer. Stephen Ministers make a two-year commitment to train and serve.

What Do Stephen Ministers Do? Stephen Ministers are caring Christian friends who listen, understand, accept, and pray for and with care receivers who are working through a crisis or a tough time.

Are Stephen Ministers Counselors? Stephen Ministers are not counselors; they are trained lay caregivers. Their role is to listen and care - not to give advice or counsel. Stephen Ministers are also trained to recognize when a care receiver's need exceeds what they can provide. When that happens they work with care receivers to help them receive the level of care they really need.

Can I Trust a Stephen Minister? Trust is essential to a caring relationship, and Stephen Ministers are people you can trust. Confidentiality is one of the most important principles of Stephen Ministry, and what a care receiver tells his or her Stephen Minister is kept in strictest confidence.

Why the Name Stephen? The name Stephen comes from St. Stephen, who was the first lay person commissioned by the apostles to provide caring ministry to those in need as recorded in Acts 6.

What’s the Pastor’s Role? Pastors will always be the primary caregivers, but there is no way pastors can meet all the needs for care. God has called all of us, not just pastors, to minister to one another. Stephen Ministry multiplies ministry by turning pastors into equippers, so they can enable lay people to provide caring ministry as well. | top |

The Ministry of Listening

Think of a time when you really felt cared for. Chances are someone focused on what you had to say, was attentive to your needs, and listened to how you felt instead of telling you how you should feel or what you should do. Listening is one of the most powerful ministry tools at our disposal. It demonstrates that you care about the other person. In Stephen Ministry, a great deal of time is spent in teaching and practicing listening skills because of its importance as a care giving tool. You too can become a more caring listener by understanding and applying these six listening concepts from Stephen Ministry training:

1. Listening is active. It takes energy and commitment to listen really well. Focus your attention on what the other person has to say, instead of thinking of what you’ll say next. Look at him or her while you listen, and nod along from time to time so the person knows you’re tuned in.

2. Listening takes patience. You need to build trust before someone will open up to you. Constant, patient listening is a key.

3. Listening involves more than just words. Pay attention not only to what is said, but to what is not said—or to what is said with a smile or a sigh. Pay attention to body language, too. Does it agree with or contradict a person’s spoken words?

4. Good listeners aren’t completely silent. They restate key thoughts or ideas to be sure they understood correctly or ask focus questions to encourage the person to reach a little deeper.

5. Listening happens over time. One conversation might build upon an earlier one. As you listen over several conversations, are there any recurring themes or patterns in what the person has said? Are there any contradictions from what was said earlier? These are signs there may be more to explore underneath.

6. Listening is confidential. A great way to build that trust and to show the person you really care for him or her is to maintain confidentiality and not to share with others what was told to you in private conversation.

Jesus was the model of a good listener. Much of his ministry was listening to people. By listening to what people had to say he demonstrated how much he really cared about them. Remember the stories of the woman at the well, Nicodemus, or the disciples on the road to Emmaus. All were times when Jesus showed his care and concern by first listening to people and then giving them what they needed.

We all want St. Andrews to be a caring place, where members and guests truly feel people care about who they are and how they feel. Just as our Stephen Ministers use good listening skills to communicate how much they care, so can you. Follow and practice these listening principles and make a concentrated effort toward becoming a better listener. Listening is a great gift we can give to one another, and one we can all use in order to make St. Andrew’s a more caring place. | top |

What Exactly is Stephen Ministry? Stephen Ministry involves trained and supervised lay persons from our congregation, called Stephen Ministers, who provide one-to-one Christian care to individuals facing life challenges or difficulties.

Who Is Involved? Stephen Leaders are the ones who oversee and direct our Stephen Ministry. They recruit, select, train, organize, and supervise our Stephen Ministers, identify people in need of care, and match them with a Stephen Minister. We have three Stephen Leaders. They are: Marty Corder, Ola Merrell, and Laura Aldridge.

Stephen Ministers are the caregivers. They have been through 50 hours of training in Christian care giving, including general topics such as listening, feelings, boundaries, assertiveness, and using Christian resources in care giving. In addition, their training covered specialized topics such as ministering to the divorced, hospitalized, bereaved, and aging. We currently have 16 active Stephen Ministers. Care receivers are the recipients of Stephen Ministers’ care. They are people from our church or community who are experiencing divorce, grief, loss of a job, loneliness, hospitalization, terminal illness, or any of an endless number of other life difficulties. Stephen Ministers usually meet with their care receivers once a week for about an hour for as long as the care receiver will benefit by the relationship. If you or someone you know would benefit by having a Stephen Minister, contact Laura Aldridge at 692-4242, ext. 106. | top |